Recently I’ve been doing a lot of inner work.
Since I can’t go anywhere during the pandemic and I’m tired of worrying about my household responsibilities, I’ve dived even farther into my own mental landscape.
In short, I’ve been learning a lot about meditation and manifestation. I have to say, I never thought that I would be capable of meditating for longer than a few seconds at a time. My brain has such intrusive thoughts that it seemed like a long shot to keep it quiet for even one moment at a time. These days, however, I worked my way up to meditating for as long as 10 minutes at a time. I have to say, I feel like I’m more mentally strong… But I might be getting more physically ill now that I have gotten so present. Before, I was more than happy to put on blinders and ignore certain things. When meditating, however, suddenly, I’m aware of exactly how disgusting my central heating and cooling system is. You see, part of my meditation practice is sitting in complete silence and noticing my breath. This would be easier if my central cooling system wasn’t chugging away in the background. The sounds coming from my AC units are fairly concerning when you don’t have other noises polluting the hums and bangs of the cooling system. Furthermore, I’m suddenly extremely conscious of the disgusting smell circulating through my air vents. I used to think that I did a good job changing my air filters for the central HVAC system, but now I’m doubting the cleanliness of my ductwork. Every time I sit down to meditate, I have to fight back intrusive thoughts about calling the professional HVAC dealership to immediately have my air conditioning system overhauled and my ductwork scrubbed.
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